I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize