Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
