I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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