Having a random hookup so left but love u
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Randomize
