Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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