I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
