My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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