I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
