FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So many bounce houses so little time
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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