You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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