Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize