yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
