And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
