taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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