Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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