Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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