Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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