so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
