Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
