I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
