We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
