No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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