tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
