Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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