Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
