So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
