I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Randomize
