I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
