So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
