Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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