I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize