I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
