My friends, they love my intelligence
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
