is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
This is my gift to your gina
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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