Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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