Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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