i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
