So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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