Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
