you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize