I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
