Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
