bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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