Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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