Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
