This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
we're so committed to being not committed
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
