And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
