angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
