Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
