i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
