I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
