based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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