Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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