I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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