i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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