Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
