What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
