Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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