awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize