No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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