im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
