You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
