Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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