I puked a lego.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
